So I have opened commenting for now. If the spamming gets out of control, I’ll close them down.

I don’t think it will matter much anyways. Most of what I post is more of a “one way street” kind of thing.

Prove me wrong…

Mood: Frustrated, Lonely

Ok, I am not good at this.

Maybe I don’t think I have enough to say. Maybe I just don’t think it’s interesting enough to post. Maybe I’m scared to just let it all hang out there.

I do know some of the folks who read this and I am very intimidated by their writing skills. I don’t want to embarrass myself.

I have a lot to say, but I already say it directly to those who I want to hear it.

So what exactly is the point of this? I wish I knew.

Rain. Finally. We really needed some, but probably not while I was on the roof.

We had to stop working outside because of lightning in the area, so we decided to move it inside. After taking a break to eat dinner, I informed the boys we were completing 1 entire room tonight. So, we jumped into the play room and attacked it. It is now done. The boys were pretty proud of themselves. I really didn’t have the heart to tell them that was by far the easiest room in the house to do. Why break their fantasy?

We also got the garage straightened away and have now begun the process of filling it back up.

On a side note, I think I write better at night…

Today I found a new love-The Magic Eraser. Tried using it on the tub and… wow. Immediately bought 4 more.

The Big One did not go to his Scout meeting, so we opted to take on the second biggest challenge in front of us: the trees. The roof did quite a lot of complaining about the fat guy on it, but I got most of the branches cut up. Unfortunately, my assistants on the ground, left to cut up everything I was tossing down, got their butts kicked. Badly. So we decided the side of the house was a fine place to hide everything until we could figure something else out.

So now we have a “Coming Soon” sign in the front yard. And we we’re informed that “soon” meant this coming Monday instead of next Friday. Losing 5 days is going to add to the stress we’re already feeling.

But it IS coming along. I’m hoping we can finish the exterior by Thursday night and move on to the inside. Can we pack it all in 2 days? God, I hope so.

I have not had time to feel any emotions about all of this yet. I know there in there; my stomach reminds me of that. But I am fighting acknowledgement of it for now. I have no place for it. Yet. My emotions are tucked away, for fear of hurting those who are… busy sorting through their own stuff. So for now, I’ll dust off my trusty vault that served me well for a couple of years. I think it missed me anyways.

I hope I only need it for a short while. I got used to not stuffing it so damn full.

This is going to be a busy morning.

Today’s todo list: mow the front yard, trim all hedges and bushes, remove the basketball goal, remove flowers from their bed, remove the sprinkler system, trim the trees, wash the garage door, fix the garage door, put in mulch, and pack and move all of my Scout stuff. And somewhere in there do client projects.

Feeling: tired, alone, defeated. I know it’s temporary, so I’ll plow through it the best I can.

This is turning out to be an interesting week, emotionally speaking. Monday was my last Pack Meeting as Cubmaster after 8 or 9 years of it – very emotional and I couldn’t get it out of me properly. Then, I decided to put our house on the market and do a little downsizing; today I found out I have 10 days to get the house cleaned out and “show-ready”. Sure, why not.

So the first thing I had to do was tell the boys about the move. It came as a shock to them, unfortunately. Good thing they bounce back quickly, but it really sucked to sit there and watch them process it. After 9 years, what else can a 10 year old and 15 year old do? It’s not like they know any different. So I did the only thing I could.

I made tacos and declared we were going to watch “This Is It”, the Michael Jackson movie.

So we did. And we were all amazed at the crazy-ass talent he still had. When he did “Beat It”, both of them couldn’t contain the nervous, frustrated energy inside of them. They were squirming all around, which finally gave in to dancing, which finally turned into full-on performing.

Interesting to watch how a less-burdened heart can work through its emotions.

So, how am I dealing with this? Coding client websites and playing my Liberty Playlist (sure, you can create a playlist for everything) and moving on with the evening. Because that’s what I do. But inside, I can feel it quietly swimming around, kind of an excited, nervous, dread, hopeful feeling that I think ultimately is encompassed by one word: fear.

Think I need to try and remember how to dance…

Ok, this is a little geeky, but Google has started on open-font repository for use on websites. In plain english, with 2 lines of code you can have one of a variety of fonts on your website without having the viewer jump through hoops to make it work. Go check it out for yourself at http://code.google.com/webfonts

I think I’m a second shifter. Take today for example.

I’ve gotten more done in the last 2 hours than I have all day. Client items are moving, scouting is getting done. Happy boy. Maybe I need to just give it up and work until 2 or 3 am, then sleep in. After the boys get out of school, I’ll probably do just that.

Well, at least 2 days a week anyways.

On a side note, Wordpress on the iPhone rocks! I’ve written more in the last 2 weeks than I thought I ever would.

I spent 10 minutes trying to convince someone that they should be reading my blog.

Really.

Why? I haven’t said anything here. At least not yet. Do I want comments to my posts? No, not really.

I did it because I’m a child and I wanted the attention. Lame.

If you want someone’s attention, give them something compelling to pay attention to. Whether it’s your appearance, ideas, humor, it doesn’t matter. I know I can be interesting. What I don’t know is whether I can write interestingly. Probably not, I’m more of an audio kind of guy, but that’s not going to stop me from trying.

This thing has been sitting running on it’s own for a while mostly as a “stalker feed” (my gift). Now that I’ve got the Wordpress app working on my phone, I’m thinking of trying some writing.

Someone I profoundly care about (yes, there’s been “L” words thrown around) has a blog and the highlight of my day is reading what she writes. Mundane, angry, funny, I don’t care. I just want to read it. I love knowing how her gears turn.

Well, I thought maybe I might have something to say now. And dangit there are one or two people who might actually care to read it.

So, maybe i’ll write something. Sometimes 140 characters doesn’t cut it.

I hope I don’t suck at it.