Mama told me there’d be days like these…
So this week is not exactly firing on all cylinders.
I’m on a 2100 calorie diet that I blew out Monday with 3200 calories. Then, today I could not get anything accomplished with the business (I guess that’s relative). Capped off with a visit from the ex that involved talking about the older boy’s grades (again). That is getting really old. And that was just 3 I can think of off the top of my head.
So if you came here to listen to me bitch about the same old crap, move along. Nothing more for you here.
This probably does not apply to you:
Your attitude has been bleeding on me for a while and I have grown tired of it. That’s why you don’t hear from me too much anymore. I tried to overlook it, but I did a lot of thinking about my own attitude and I’m not happy with it. I want to be a more positive person and I want people to enjoy being around me. I have bored myself listening to my dribble about how hard life is when someone asks how I’m doing. I want you to change and have a better attitude also, but I can’t help you right now.
I need to work on me and making my world a better place. I need to focus on why I’m a Scouter, how I relate to my family (or former family), what I want from others in the world, being a better businessman, and most importantly, being a good example of the man I want my boys to grow up to be.
Choosing to focus on these things has made me lonely, but mostly lonely by choice. That is changing also, albeit very slowly. One day I’ll make it a bigger priority; just not today.
So because of this break, I’m actually happier day-to-day. However, when it’s quiet; after the boys are in bed and I’m thinking about my day and who I have touched, sometimes I still miss you.
And to “you” – I still miss and think about you.
March 26, 2008
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